The Ugliest King

by Morbid Footnote

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ALBUM RELEASED ON NOVEMBER 1st, 2012 - THE 312TH ANNIVERSARY OF CHARLES II'S DEATH!

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Maart and Yuk met in the Metal Archives forums and decided to make the best / first / last / only death metal album dedicated to the misdeeds and mutatations of everyone's favorite malformed monarch - Charles II of Spain.

From Wikipedia:

"Dating to approximately the year 1550, outbreeding in Charles II's lineage had ceased (see also pedigree collapse). From then on, all his ancestors were in one way or another descendants of Joanna the Mad and Philip I of Castile, and among these just the royal houses of Spain, Austria and Bavaria. Charles II's genome was actually more homozygous than that of an average child whose parents are siblings.[2] He was born physically and mentally disabled, and disfigured. Possibly through affliction with mandibular prognathism, he was unable to chew. His tongue was so large that his speech could barely be understood, and he frequently drooled. It has been suggested that he suffered from the endocrine disease acromegaly, or his inbred lineage may have led to a combination of rare genetic disorders such as combined pituitary hormone deficiency and distal renal tubular acidosis."

This album was constructed from recordings by Maart in Amsterdam which were transferred via the magic of the Internet to Baltimore, MD. Yuk's brother Sky performed extensive research into the life of the king and turned up a treasure trove of lyric ideas. Yuk's pal (and bandmate in Asthma Castle) J vomited forth additional vocals of the brutal variety, perfectly complimenting Mr. Yuk's demented bellowing. And finally, Durv was there to record the screams and mix the insanity.

The next album will be out sometime in 2013, featuring another unsavory character ripped from the pages of European history... another... MORBID FOOTNOTE!

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FOLLOW THE "RECOMMENDATIONS" LINK ON THE RIGHT TO HEAR MAART AND YUK'S OTHER AWESOME BANDS!

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released November 1, 2012

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Morbid Footnote

Historically-Themed Trans-Atlantic Death Metal Fiasco!

Maarten Houwink ten Cate - guitars, bass, drums, riff smithing
Yuk - vocals
J - additional vocals
Sky - research
Durv - mixing

Featuring members in Amsterdam and Baltimore, MD, USA.
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Track Name: the politics of inbreeding
Phillip the Handsome, Joanna of Castile
Copulate did they, six children did they yield
Three of the spawn, here's what they've done
Deformation of genes through kissing cousins

Five generations
Consanguinity
(???)

Phillip the Second of Spain (married his niece!)
Phillip the Third of Spain (his second cousin!)
Phillip the Fourth of Spain (married his niece!)
Together they had the ugliest king!

The politics of inbreeding!
Track Name: no me gusta
At long last
An heir is born
May Cherubim and Seraphim
Rain sweet meats upon you

Dios mios!
No!
Dios mios!

Believe this is my son?
Oh holy ghost, what have I done, this
Tangled mass, travesty,
My paternal legacy, oh

No me gusta
No me gusta
No me gusta tu nariz
No me gusta tu boca
No me gusta tu cabeza
No me gusta tu todo
Track Name: mandibular prognathism
Short, lame, epileptic
Senile and completely
Bald before 35
Always on the verge of death

But repeatedly
Baffled Christendom
By continuing
To live

ahhhhhh

Couldn't talk until he’s 4
Couldn't walk until he’s 8
An unbroken stream of calamaties
His rule will devastate

unable to chew

Refusing to die
Continuing to live
Track Name: the ugliest king
The ugliest king!

Waring with France
12000 dead per year
During his short reign
2 million Spaniards... muerte!

Crop failures
Earthquakes
Epidemics
General malaise

The ugliest king!
Track Name: imaginary pregnancies
My first wife died
And how I cried
Within 3 months
I have my new bride

Wedding night, something’s wrong
Erectile dysfunction
Premature ejaculation
Doomed to never have a son
Track Name: auto-da-fe
A fine day for a witch hunt
Witchfinder General at my side
The Holy Office, rack and thumbscrews
Man of God who flays your hide

Fuego!

Twenty-one people are dying
Twenty-one people are dying
Twenty-one people are dying
Twenty-one people are dead!

Flesh is burning
Heretics screaming
The crowd is booing
Most amusing
Track Name: el hechizado
Hoy necessito
Exorcismo
El Hechizado

Yech!

Louis XIV
The riots in Madrid
Louis XIV
And the riots in Madrid

Consign the report to the flame
We will not be laid with blame
The Lord’s work, not a game
Forced to kill before we save

Archbishop of Toldeo!
Duke of Anjou!
Track Name: coroner's report
November 1st
1700

Charles II of Spain
Is found dead

His heart the size of a grain of pepper
Not a single drop of blood in his body
His lungs were corroded
His intestines were putrid

He had a single testicle
Which was black as carbon

And his head was
Full of water

And his head was
Full of water
Having no son or daughter
The line ends with him, Charles II